WELL, AUSTRALIA’S OUT

Remember a couple months ago when I mentioned that leaving the country seemed like the sane answer to the election? Turns out I’ve officially ruled out Australia since it tried to kill me over winter break.

A little background: My husband and I both have family down under. My brother-in-law and his wife, their son and daughter (and her family) all live in the capital Canberra. Their other son and his family live in Sydney, and my cousin Jon and his family live in Windsor, an hour or so west of Sydney. The last two times we’ve visited, I’ve gotten deathly sick. The last time, all I did was cough from about the third day, all the way through our romantic final anniversary weekend in Sydney (which I spent curled in bed), on the plane, and in the limo home. (The poor driver.) This time, within six hours of landing, I was already stuffy, which was when it occurred to me that it might be an allergy.

Whatever the plant is, it hates me.

(It is beautiful, though, right? This is the view from the family farm.)

I will spare you the gory details except to praise the Australian medical system. My sister-in-law got me a same-day appointment for which I paid the outrageous full price of $100 Australian dollars (about $65 American). They prescribed medication that cost about $60 Australian dollars (about $35 Australian). Socialized medicine is so terrible, isn’t it?

I did get better, but we’ve been home a week, and my ears are still stuffed. I have my suspicions (eucalyptus, I’m looking at you), but I have no scientific evidence to prove anything. (How do all of you with seasonal allergies do it??)

The other reason I cannot move to Australia is the snakes.

These are no comfie Connecticut garter snakes. They are red-bellied black snakes and brown snakes, both of which can kill you (and are often just curled up there on a cozy warm rock in the middle of the botanic garden). Australia has some of the world’s most venomous spiders and snakes, and while I would like to give you specific statistics on that, it would mean pulling up pictures of spiders and snakes on Google and then I wouldn’t sleep.

(You know he’s in there somewhere…)

While I joked on Facebook that we had bought this boat, and were moving, we’re not. (What if I ended up at sea with a snake on the boat??)

Finally, despite all the courage, beauty and persistence posts appearing in my social media feeds, I’m feeling pretty unbalanced. I mean: the election. No Australia. To that end, I’m going to leave you with something beautiful because every day I need something to hold onto. Maybe today, this picture of a majestic, red-shouldered hawk in our front yard, a bird we would never have seen here ten or fifteen years ago, before environmental regulations brought so many of these animals back, will ground you in the same way that seeing him (or her) grounded me. (Sorry he’s a little blurry!)

Peace, and thanks for reading.

Events for February: Writers in Conversation, February 19 at the Norwalk Public Library, Norwalk, Connecticut, 6:30 PM will feature Bette Bono and Michelle Herman, fiction writers whose latest work focuses on history and New York. They will read from their work and talk the literary life and research. Come join us. All are welcome.